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earhartsease:

flipocrite:

joeyridersvoid:

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

Even ignoring the quantity of workers or weaponry, I think there’s something special about specifically

1. using a knife
2. to threaten a cook
3. in a kitchen

not the

not the shar

not the sharpest kn

(via pulchrabelle)

lmaonade:

if we’re mutuals feel free to use me as a powerful summon during a tough battle 

(via delirious--mistakes)

cherryflavoredbutch:

beaft:

beaft:

If carp could speak they would all have French accents

mon dieu…. you have caught me….

posts that make you say “mon dieu…. you have caught me….”

(via ruinedchildhood)

mobydyke:

mobydyke:

mobydyke:

being an adult is just dragging urself kicking and screaming to things that you will enjoy and that will be good for you

clenching my teeth and muttering under my breath “you’ll be happy you did it you’ll be happy you did it you’ll be happy you did it” as I physically force myself out the door to go Do Things

being very firm with myself every time I think about bailing and saying “no. you committed to this. it will improve your quality of life. you will enjoy it. now put on your big boy pants and go.”

(via star-born)

were–ralph:

augustdementhe:

thestereotypebuster:

thestereotypebuster:

I got THE worst possible Tumblr ad

I’m gonna put it under the cut for the daring. I will say, Tumblr sure is a lot more lenient with advertisers violating their community guidelines.

Keep reading

Huh.

I guarantee it’s worse than you could Imagine

(via kite-of-chromosomes)

sailor-sappho:

virtualgirladv:

sailor-sappho:

Today a dental hygienist said I have “very stringy saliva” and I still have no idea what that means or how I’m meant to feel about it

Diagnosed with “hentai saliva”

Blocked.

(via thecherrygod)

identifying-cars-in-posts:

cerayanay:

t-counter:

evilwizard:

t-counter:

evilwizard:

the gimmick blogs are like tumblr’s rogue gallery. yes we’ve got some heroes, yes we’ve got some villains, but more importantly if you look over here you will see some freak who devotes all their time to counting the number of “t’s” in a post

T Count: 15

Letter Count: 198

Your T Percentage: 7.58%

Average T Percentage: 6.95%

You used the letter T 1.09 times as much as average!

YOU EXIST???

Sometimes you create a guy and it turns out they already exist

Sometimes that guy has skills beyond your comprehension @identifying-cars-in-posts

1993-1997 Mazda 626

(via pulchrabelle)

catmask:

catmask:

i love when smthing makes u mad and then u eat food and ur like okay that was still wrong but im normal about it now

taps mic haha. lot of dwarves in the c.rowd tonight

(via star-born)